Shamrocketship

Got Gin?

Monday through Friday this week: 

800 miles on the car going to

3 different offices to give

4 presentations to

200 people in

2 boardrooms and

1 auditorium all on

20 hours total sleep =

1 well-deserved bottle.

Have a simply marvelous weekend. 

Bippity-Boppity-Boo!

First day on the new job and it was awesome.  AWESOME, people! 

I still can't figure out how something this good happened to me.  I guess my Fairy Job-Mother waved her magic laser pointer over my noggin while I wasn't looking, and now I'm living in a cubicle castle or something? 

I wish I could tell you all the wonderful things I saw, heard, did today, but I'm not risking having to climb back into the pumpkin coach.  Nuh uh.  I'm just going to sit here and smile. And keep pinching myself.

Signing off . . .

Cuberella

Pinch Me . . .

Something cosmically so RIGHT happened lately, I am still reeling from the awesomeness.  I don't know that I can go into much detail and it might not make much sense if I don't, so shoot me an e-mail if you want more info.

Somewhere around the middle of the summer, I grew very tired of my job.  And there was an incident that occurred that kind of drove home the fact that I might not get very far in it.  Not that I was ever reaching for far, but I don't think anyone likes to have a "Dead End" sign slammed up into their forehead. 

While we were on vacation in August, I spent a good deal of time thinking about my options. And decided I needed to do something different, with a very particular twist on it.  When we got home, I got busy researching options and kind of settled on one, but it meant a very drastic change.  I was ready, figuring if I'm going to have to work another 20 years or so, it would be worth the investment.  But over the last month or so debating it, I hadn't yet been able to work out how to arrange the 18 months of full-time school with no salary part of it.  And the $30K tuition.  That was a bugger. 

Around the time I started researching, another little possibility was plopped in my lap so I took a stab at it.  Same company, but a veerrrryyyyy different job with the exactly the same particular twist I'd been looking for. 

Lo and behold, yesterday I found out it was really going to happen. 

It means some pretty big changes.  For one, instead of being one of 250 lab rats in the IT department in the basement, I'm going to be doing a one-of-a-kind job.  Working with two or three of the top people in the company. 

For two, I'm literally moving from the basement to the top floor. OK, the place only HAS three floors above the basement, but up there, they have windows, and views of trees and grass and sky.  All day long.  I'm going to have to wear an SPF30 and my sunglasses for a few weeks until I get used to seeing daylight again, but those are the sacrifices one must make, right? 

For three, I will no longer be responsible for managing the work of twenty other people.  I'll be managing my own work, and only my own.  How easy is that? 

For four, and you cannot believe how ridiculously excited this makes me . . . I'm getting a double-wide cubicle.

Yessirree, folks.  I am moving way up in the office trailer park.

 

We're really not doing anything evil . . .

but today's work quote sure makes it sound like it:

"I really don't think it would be prudent . . . to deviate . . . from the course we plotted . . . when this /right hand making a circling motion in the air/ all began."

If I was going to write a horror novel, that might just be how I'd begin it. 

Easily the most interesting thing I've heard this week

From one of the 14 meetings I've been in in the last three days:

"We need to have some way to articulate the anomaly in a query."

Yes, we do speak like this. 

It's the reason I have no brain left at the end of the day.

:- /

Please Hold . . .

The entertainment portion of this website is temporarily on hold. 

We have just completed a staggering achievement at work.  Two years or so in the making, and much sweat and many tears involved, and lately, a sh*tload of hours.  A few hours ago (yes, on a Saturday afternoon), everything came to the climax and we stood on the precipice, with the label of "goats" on one side and "heroes" on the other.  It could easily have gone one way or the other, but we were lucky tenacious enough to fall on the "heroes" side and I shall be basking in that for the next several days. 

In the meantime, you'll have to go elsewhere for anything insightful or amusing.  I gave at the office. 

My job ate my brain this week

Things I like about my job:  Working with great people. Working with smart people.  Getting smarter while I work with them.  The paycheck. 

Things I hate about my job:  Doing performance evaluations, because I hate to deliver any kind of criticism even if it's constructive and necessary.  And I hate doing presentations. Because they make me so nervous I want to throw up.  If I know the crowd well, it's tolerable as long as there aren't too many of them and I don't have to stand up.  If I don't know the crowd well, it's the sweaty palms, shaking in my boots kind of thing for me, but I manage somehow if there are 8 or fewer listeners. If I don't know the crowd well and it's bigger than that?  I'm pretty sure I would die, but I don't know.  Will never find out.  I told my boss I am dead (hah) serious when I say I will quit before he ever gets me to do something like that.  The paycheck will NEVER be that good.

Anyway, in the last ten days I have had fourteen performance evaluations come due for writing, and have given a dozen presentations.  To smallish groups of strangers. 

So you know how I'm feeling by now?   BLECH. BBBLLLLLLEEECCCHHHHH. 

Revenge

Hey you - yeah all of you that were jealous of my unemployed condition (you know, the sleeping late every day for 10 weeks, and having no job stress, and living off unemployment and severance pay, and being free to travel without using up vacation days).  You can start laughing at me . . . ready?  one . . . two . . . three . . . NOW. 

I'm employed again and in case I didn't mention it, it's a long drive to my new workplace.  Fifty-eight miles each way.  That's a lotta gas-o-line.  And the employer is of the very traditional type, where they actually review the dress code with you to make sure you understand it before they'll offer you a job.  The group I'm in also starts VERY early in the morning.  Most of my co-workers arrive at their desks between 7:00 and 7:30 A-YEM.  Although I have the flexibility to choose a start time anywhere between 7:00 and 9:00, the peer pressure is there to get me pulling into the parking lot with the majority of them at the earlier end of that range.  Pulling into the parking lot an hour and 15 minutes after I got into the car.  Which is about an hour after I woke up.  Which equals one cranky camper when that alarm goes off at 5:20.  Did I mention A-YEM?  I did.  I can hear at least one person sniggling right now:  "Hah. I get up at 5:00.  And I drive 75 miles each way.   And I have to be there at 6:00 A-YEM."  Well, goody for you.  Gives me something to laugh about.

But since I care about you, here's more to laugh about.  You have to see me wrangling with stockings again.  Getting them on at that hour of the morning is no easy feat.  I have hardwood floors in not-so-smooth condition, which means the second my feet are encased in nylon straightjackets, I have to shove them into high-heeled vice-grip shoes.  And my poor flip-flop-lovin' feet have to stay in those podiatric prisons for the next twelve hours or so.  And there's still the wrestling with the stockings each time I use the ladies room.  Arrghhh. 

And - joy of joys - my workspace is once again a cubicle. It's got to be eight years since I lived in a cube. In the interim, I've had the relative luxury of a "shared office" - two people sharing a space approximately the size of my refrigerator, but we did have a door, for heaven's sake.  And quiet.   Who invented these cubicle torture chambers?  No privacy to hitch up the sagging hose now and again.  Having to listen to at least eight different conversations besides the ones in my head. Anyone walking by free to just peek in and see that performance review you're working on. 

But really?  I love the sound of the job so far.  I'm looking forward to being productive again. Dress code and working hours and distance all aside, it has many benefits.  The people I've met on the floor have parroted all the wonderful things the recruiters in HR told me about the company.  I feel lucky to have landed on my feet in a much better place than I fell off them. 

And I get to work with a good friend again.  S**** and I used to work together at Company A about 8 years ago (yes, in cubicles).  We went to programming school together there, learned Cobol together (which was, in a Paris Hilton accent, HAWT in the pre-Y2K years).   I eventually fell victim to my first downsizing and ended up at Company B.  About a year later, S**** was looking to move on from Company A and I managed to put his name in front of someone and he got hired at Company B also.  A few years after that, I moved to Company C, and within a year, so did S****. In fact, we shared the same "shared office" for several years.  It was great while it lasted.  He got downsized a year ago and went to Company D, which happens to be my new employer.  We now work one cubicle-aisle apart.  Under ordinary circumstances, it would be natural to wonder at where S**** and I will work next.  But many of my new co-workers have told me this place is so good, it'll probably be my last job.   

So I'm filling up my gas tank two or three times a week, sitting in a cube bleary-eyed at 7:30 A-YEM, strangled by stockings and heels in full view of everyone, but it's OK.  It's good.  I could be scrambling for survival in New Orleans. 

Yeah, I'm lucky.  And I appreciate it. 

A Hunting We Will Go . . .

Well, the job hunt has begun.  I figured it wasn't wise to wait until the end of my time on payroll, or until the severance package runs out. I had a second interview today with a company I'd really like to be my next employer.  But the process is gruelling.  Two interviews, four hours, six different people, hundreds of questions.  Boy, oh boy, do I wish they still asked things like "Tell me a little about yourself."  And "Tell me why you want to work here."  Or "Tell me about your strengths and weaknesses."  Those were the days.  Now, everyone is doing this "behavioral interviewing" stuff and it's impossible to prep for. 

These are just a sample of the things I've been asked: 

- Tell me how you increased teamwork and the results of a group you previously managed on a project.  Be specific.

- Tell me about a time when you were leading a team and you made what you consider to be a mistake, or a bad decision.  What did you do to correct it?

- Tell me about a project you managed where the results were not what you had expected.  What would you have done differently?

- Have you ever had a project completely fail? How would you prevent it from happening again?

- What do you contribute to establish a positive working environment? How do you motivate people?

- Describe a situation where others you were working with on a project disagreed with your ideas. What did you do?

And there were many, many more. I did well, I think, until this question:

- Define the term "earned value" for me.

Now back in the day, when I earned my certification in project management, I could have rattled that answer off for you in two seconds.  But today I sat racking my brains, which felt quite empty at that point.  I could feel my face beginning to glow a nice scarlet shade, and after one full silent awkward minute full of sixty ticking seconds, I simply told the woman the truth.  I didn't remember. I admitted to knowing it at one time, but in my present job it wasn't something we measured.  (That was putting it tactfully; in my present job, I never heard anyone even mention the phrase.)

So I'm hoping that they realize that that one blank, instead of demonstrating my stupidity, shows merely that I'm human. I answered about 99 questions well, and drew a blank on one. And I wonder how much relevance that question even had to the job I'd be performing.

Interviews are tough. They're designed to force you to demonstrate your ability and experience in handling myriad situations.  Although really, I don't think I've come across any job situation, ever, that tested me as much as an interview. 

I'm Not Dead Yet!

Well the scavenging of my office supplies has begun and I'm not even gone yet.  A very nice man that I work with came to my office today after hearing the news of my likely departure.*  He was looking around at all my toys (HANDS OFF!) and stuff and remarked that he liked my "Weird NJ" calendar on the wall.  Then asked if I was taking it with me when I go.

I told him to go ahead and take it now, since I'm done paying attention to what day it is, work-wise.

*Good News! Bossman called today to tell me I'll be officially notified of my FA next Wednesday and don't have to take the co-worker's crummy job (they're not filling it).   I'll be on payroll with no work responsibilities until August 5, then have two months' severance. I'm gonna have one helluva tan this summer!